WTF

I am as baffled as she is right now about many things. Dad is hanging on although the clots in his lungs are still life-threatening, I am racking up miles on a rental car and am on a first name basis with the guy at the toll booth. I should get a discount on the bridge toll I believe. I am picking away at the next update when I can. It is a welcomed distraction from RL.

Many thanks to my friends who reached out when I needed it. You will not be forgotten nor will your kindness.

Status Check PE

I swore I would not air my personal woes on the web but I am hurting and I need to cry. The only shoulder available is yours. My dad is ill, in ICU and probably won't make it. My heart hurts so much and I have to be strong for my mother who never thought she would outlast him given her poor health.

I have no pretty pictures to dress this post up. I have not been in the sims game for weeks and don't know if I will in the near future. I am hog-tied by things I cannot control. I have been writing which is the only thing keep me together right now.

We live and we die and the rest of life goes on. It sure puts all the petty bullshit that is out there in perspective.

Two Sides of the Same Coin

Not much to say lately that hasn't already been said. Got my game working and have slowly picked at it. I read once where someone (a reader somewhere) asked if characters were based on a particular person, based on the writer, or where they come from. I have pieces of me in each character that has come out of my head in one way or another. Melinda is no exception. Although I don't run a whore house. And she is taller than me but then most people are.

Worked on a couple of mosaics. I really love doing those. We should be putting that up somewhere soon. Otherwise this may be the last blog post I do for awhile unless I have some sort of update to announce. I'm fading. Bad time of year for me. Putting on a happy face but I don't feel it right now.

Locomotion

I was sitting at the train station, more like waiting for the train to go by so I could cross the tracks and go home. It was raining, not hard, just a light rain. Trains go back and forth day after day. They don't need to turn around; they just reverse direction and drone on. I realized this was the epitome of my current life. Back and forth. There and back again. On a track I cannot get off. Brief stops along the way but always the same starting point, same destination and reverse. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Not even remotely rewarding considering the work it takes to manage it.

Doors

First of all I want to thank everyone for their well wishes regarding my health and well-being on both my blog and Beth’s. It is most appreciated. I am starting to feel better and much to my amusement have discovered that wearing shoes with heels (I generally wear flats which is also rather funny considering my height of 5 feet nothing) actually helps ease the back and numbness in my leg. So I added these to my list for Santa.

More importantly I want to thank Beth from the bottom of my heart. Even with her own upside down chaotic situation she kept things going, pushed through so much and took some gorgeous shots for our latest update despite constant crashing and CC dilemmas. There aren't enough words that can describe what kind of person she is. I feel very honored to call her my friend.

Our latest update is here - > The Blower's Daughter

Confessing that I have been in a very strange place for the last few weeks trying to rediscover who I am, what I am doing, where I am going. My wheels have been spinning in the mud for a long time trying to escape what has been chasing me. I gave up running, turned and faced it head on. We'll see how that goes. Opening all doors and waiting, down but not out, finally willing to stand in the long shadow and just watch.

In the meantime thank you all for everything, your support, your wishes, and your friendship.

Alive...Kicking Not So Much

To add to my list of health woes, I've been dealing with a leg that refuses to function. It feels like I am dragging dead weight around. Yesterday I actually fell getting out of bed when the leg refused to hold me.

This began Sunday afternoon and progressively deteriorated to the point where my employers actually had to force me to leave work to see a doctor. Long story short, the x-rays show a compressed disc (disk?) in my lower back that has impinged a nerve. Diagnosis...bed rest. Yeah. Right. I'll just have the help manage everything while I lounge around...

It is times like these I wish I had a laptop that had Sims 2 installed. Shot above is one of the lots in a test NB where I have been systematically going through CC to determine what crashes what. I really liked the look of this, scenic, cold. I almost see the smoke rising from the chimney.

Seeing Through the Fog

There was a lot of fog this morning as I headed out for work. It was actually quite fascinating and I wish I had my camera to grab a shot or two but sadly, I didn't. Exhaustion is something I am familiar with but I haven't felt like my ass has been kicked quite this hard in a couple of years. It would seem things are on the way to becoming "normal" again, whatever that looks like. Although I am not sure I would recognize normal if it kissed me squarely on the mouth. Or maybe this just is what normal is going to be from now on. Who knows?

Yesterday was Valentine's Day. For those of you who celebrate it, my wish for you is that it was a reminder of how much you are loved. As for me, I am simply hoping to get back into the swing of things starting by writing something. With luck I will be caught up on my reading list soon. You guys were certainly busy bees in that area.

It has been a long, emotional and draining week that culminated in a remarkable celebration of life. Thought I would share a picture. It struck a chord with me (no pun intended). I don't recall which song was being played although I think it was Imagine by John Lennon, there was a lot of music. Thanks for hanging in there.


Posted a meme on my LJ. Link is under the banner if you want to check it out.