Status Check PE

I swore I would not air my personal woes on the web but I am hurting and I need to cry. The only shoulder available is yours. My dad is ill, in ICU and probably won't make it. My heart hurts so much and I have to be strong for my mother who never thought she would outlast him given her poor health.

I have no pretty pictures to dress this post up. I have not been in the sims game for weeks and don't know if I will in the near future. I am hog-tied by things I cannot control. I have been writing which is the only thing keep me together right now.

We live and we die and the rest of life goes on. It sure puts all the petty bullshit that is out there in perspective.

Everything Changes

This has been the common theme for just about everything I attempt to write lately. Everything changes. A lot of that has been happening the last few weeks but it really hit home today. I watched someone clean out a cubicle due to an unforeseen layoff that came as a surprise not only to that person but the those of us who were coworkers.

My life has been a series of changes; I suppose that is true and expected for everyone. But there has been too much, too soon for my comfort level. I don't deal well with it. At one time I considered myself a tumbleweed rolling with the wind. Maybe at one time I was. Right now I just want to wake up every morning with no greater challenge than to find my keys in a darkened house.

Some things however do stay the same. I looked into Facebook, something that everyone is doing to stay connected, find new connections, whatever. Everyone I work with does it. I figured what the hell. You have to add friends so of course the first place I looked was my kids. LMAO at what I found, nothing I didn't know but amusing to see it in technicolor. Or black and white and various shades in between. It was a fascinating trip down memory lane.

But in scanning their list of friends, seeing familiar names from pre-school to now, it was comforting to know they had that solid foundation, that connection that has supported them through so many heartaches. I don't have that kind of connection anymore, not to that extent. I used to but it turned to dust and blew away. Family, friends, they are everywhere but here. I miss the parties, the BBQs, I miss the people that made them special. So I am living vicariously through my boys. They are the grill masters now. Thankfully they love it when I hang with them and so do their friends. I am the mom that is more like one of the guys than anything else. I like that. I get to be cool.

Blah, blah, blah. I bet you thought this was a Sims blog. I decided it was whatever I make it. Including a long ramble about nothing really. Hell, if you made it this far through the post you deserve a gold star.

It keeps coming back to that one theme that drifts in and out. Everything changes. And everything stays the same.

Now this girl needs to learn a thing or two about paper airplanes, such as what happens when it drills you in the face. She'll figure it out. Maybe this is a Sims blog after all. *shrug*

Gone Astray

"Our lives affect our writing...Self-doubt, depression, pain, loss, grief, illness, stress - all these negative emotions and experiences will affect our writing just as they affect all other aspects of our lives."

paraphrased from an article here: http://www.fictionfactor.com/articles/block.html

I grabbed that quote from an online article I read about writers' block. I'm using it as my excuse for a lack of updates. Or anything else of late. Real life just sucks right now and I have not been online much. I will get to everyone's updates if only to read and leave a brief comment. I promise I will be more prolific when I can.

I haven't forgotten you...