- Excerpt of a letter from Cate to her lover
The majority of the time I know what I do. Run. More often
than not, I end up as road kill, which is interesting since, when I careen down
the road, I will swerve before I do harm and invariably hurt myself in the process.
Sometimes people run over you by accident. Sometimes they pull you out of the
way, tsk over your broken self, get in your car that you busted your ass over
and drive away to show off their shiny new ride.You did that to me.
So here I am, splattered all over the road, picking myself
up and wondering if it is worth it as I watch the tail lights of my shiny ride
become distant points of light that are slipping away. You have two choices -
take a stand and take it back or walk away. Either way, you lose. Beware the
taker disguised as a giver. They slice you to bits and are everywhere - at
home, at work, at play, at the corner store.
It isn't about you; it's about me and my not-so-temporary
insanity. This is my world, my small corner in an otherwise overwhelming community
of people, my small voice whispering in the midst of the bigger, badder voices
and if I want to rant, I'll rant. I have nowhere else to do it. Will I regret this
- maybe. Will I take it back - quite possibly. Or not. Maybe, if I come to my
senses. What are the odds...
Take a stand. Fight for what is yours or turn the fuck
around, shut the fuck up and let it go. But don't come crying with wringing
hands because you let go of something that mattered. Isn't that what you said?
You cast a shadow that is larger than life and I will never
be able to step out from behind it. My broken heart is letting you go, my trembling
hands are opening and setting you free. You carry a piece of my soul; I will
diminish and fade. Your light doesn't reach me anymore and you don't reach out;
you just take what I have left and move on.
Remember you are where you are because of me and what I gave
you - what you took so freely - my love and my life. And know that as I weaken and wither, what you
took will eat away at your black soul. That is my only consolation.
