Should have posted this yesterday...I meant to...
Had I known then what I know now about creating Sims in Body Shop this would be a better likeness. I no longer feel that compelling need to recreate him and beat myself up over loss. Most likely this will be my final post on the subject. I did make a cherry pie last night since that is what he preferred instead of birthday cake.
Today would have normally found me spontaneously crying, overly emotional and sensitive, buried away somewhere dark. The loss, the emptiness is still there but it no longer consumes. I think that is a good thing, either that or I am beyond numb at this point. I prefer to think it is acceptance. I never remember the steps of grief and loss but I must have reached the last one. Sometimes it take awhile if you hang onto it too long trying to examine every facet.
I slept most of the day away so that certainly helped. Is it wrong that I didn't feel that pull? I'm thinking not.
no it's not wrong.
ReplyDeletesending you so much light and love
Thank you. I could not have made it through without your support. I hope you know how much it has meant to me.
ReplyDeleteOh Gayl. No it's not wrong. The last step is acceptance, and it does sound like you've reached it. You don't sound numb.
ReplyDeleteDid you share the pie with your sons?
Glad to hear you're feeling better and making it, I think you are stronger than you give yourself credit for and I also agree with Beth, it's not wrong at all, it's a good sign you are making progress and I'm positive he would want you to be happy and try to move on. :)
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs, take care of yourself.
Lunar, the boys did each have a little. I don't think anyone was as fond of the pie as their dad was. He'd take the pie plate and a fork and eat.
ReplyDeleteI do hope I am past the worst part. I cling too readily to things, especially the anger.
Thank you.
Em, I do feel stronger. Still have moments but for the mostpart it feels like progress in the right way.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much.
Like everyone else, I don't think it's wrong.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best!
He's very handsome. I agree with everyone else here; it's not at all wrong not to feel the same pull. I think one thing is for certain, whether we want it to or not, time keeps on moving and even when you're not looking or expecting it, there is a level of healing that just happens. I think the pull is still there but just in a different way and there's nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteBig love to you and your boys, and don't beat yourself up for the natural healing taking place xx
ReplyDeleteQui, thank you. I know I shouldn't feel guilty for letting go.
ReplyDeleteMuzegoddess, I didn't do him justice sim-wise but thanks. Time does keep going, the clock keeps ticking, the world keeps spinning. Even our emotions don't stand in one place. There will always be a pull but healing is necessary if not for me than for my boys.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Rad, thank you. Healing is the right thing to do but it hasn't been easy.
ReplyDelete